1. |
Down Again
01:48
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Wake up, it's time to go
out of house, into the world.
It's a world that makes me cringe;
bitter taste, yes I'm down again.
Television smiles, strained conversations
I see and hear.
I've lost faith, hands in face, scream out loud:
Yes I'm down again.
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2. |
Sunday Morning
02:09
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Well I awoke on a Sunday Morning
with needles in my veins,
stomach pains, a fuzzy brain.
And I was bathing in fluorescent lighting;
concerned girl by my side,
tired eyes, a doubtful smile.
'Cause with each shot I took
my body took a shot back.
Heart racing, weak knees,
I was soon on my back.
And soon a crowd gathered around
and around
and it felt like a funeral.
With arms wrapped around
my shoulders and legs
my mind wonders if I'll soon be dead.
But I awoke on a Sunday Morning.
Yeah I was alive but not well;
no redemption to be found.
And I sensed the ending coming;
forced smiles, averted eyes;
no sense in being surprised.
Oh and I got the message;
I let it bite and then swell.
Reminded you of your sister;
that's how I made you feel.
So that one little brick
of your wall went back up
with a sound too dreadful not to hear.
Yeah it marked the beginning
of months of misery
and the crippling sense
that I can't make this work.
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3. |
Cutting Room Floor
03:23
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I've got your letter in my hand
and my eyes blur with every word.
And the semantics of your heart
makes my hands shake and heart burn.
Now I wish I read in syntax
just to keep these windows white.
'Cause these words before me
bring despair
with the fall of the pale sky.
You said you'd emerge from your wall.
'Cause you said that you had
never felt this way before.
And you didn't want anymore.
Yeah you left this on the cutting room floor.
Thinking that this was just
tentative at best.
While I thought that there was
more to be had.
You made history those days
and then you burned all that you said.
You turned away from the flames
it happened all after I left.
And just before you stayed with me
in between those pallid walls.
I put my faith into something new
I convinced myself that I wouldn't lose it all.
So go on and hide behind
your fucking wall.
And to think I ever thought
that I could make it fall.
And you left me wanting more;
Confused and alone
on the cutting room floor.
Cursing my cries from
another siren's tricks.
Cursing that I have been had.
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4. |
||||
You're gonna sleep for days
so you can count the ways
that you see her manifest inside your head.
And when you wake from such
stupid self-mutilation
you swear you're gonna change
and end this stupid shit-charade.
But how can you ever wake up
when your head is always nodding off?
I think you want this misery
because you romance the tragedy
of always being this way.
And I hate to hear you say
that you're gonna change
when you're drunk and buying rounds
that only lead you to your bed.
Well a lonesome bed is fine
when you've got a stable mind,
but not when it's a place to sink
back in to troubled times.
So you sink into that sea of mistakes
'cause you say that your heart aches.
Well it's only natural for awhile
but it's become your life.
And when I see you
I always bite my tongue.
Yeah when I see you
I always bite, oh how I bite,
I bite until I'm bleeding.
'Cause to tell you the truth…I'm just like you.
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5. |
Here's Your Letter
03:28
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Wrap me up in the stars tonight,
it's warmth I want and
they're burning bright.
Or maybe it's the alcohol;
when it's in my veins
I tend to get it wrong.
Oh and it doesn't help
when platitudes flow from your mouth.
I blame the toxins swimming inside;
I stumble asleep alone cursing this night.
Brought to consciousness
by a jackhammer pounding in my head.
Now I'm staring at a bright white screen;
pounding keys to the sound of misery.
And as this nausea grows
words multiply, yeah my anger flows
in little black lines on a once pure page
till all you see is black; till all you see is hate.
And then the machine coughed it out.
And I scribbled, scratched, scrawled,
stabbed out my name.
I folded it up and laid it on the place
that you go to escape.
And then I watched the sunset;
and rise…
again and again and again and again
as the dust set;
and you let it settle…
until it got so deep you can't remember
what lies below.
So I'll wipe from my face this eager grin
yeah I'll burn stupid thoughts of
"what could've been".
And I'll say good riddance
to this stupid pipe dream
with the hope that someday this will mean
nothing to me.
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6. |
Moonburn
03:16
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Moonlight is burning
on my cracked, brittle skin.
Got a ghost in my head;
I dread seeing it again.
"A blessing in disguise?"
I pray as a stare up at the sky.
Moonlight will you please
just burn my fucking eyes.
Wake up screaming to the
sound of my screams.
Another nightmare tonight;
I think I know what it means.
Waking up screaming?
It's clear she's haunting me.
Can't take these nightmares anymore
please give me something to dream.
Sunlight is creeping
through my sunblinds again.
Don't know to laugh or cry;
just more confusion to begin
another day dreading the night,
it's just the story of my life.
Wasting the day in fear of night,
laugh at the sound of my fucking cries.
Shedding my sanity
with each jarring scream.
Lost hair to the pillow again;
a substitute for counting sheep.
Count the hairs to fall asleep,
maybe tonight's the night I'll dream.
Eyes roll back inside my head,
it's been so long since I dreamed…
Ain't it funny how this was
once a love song?
Ain't it funny how time
sours such sweet things?
Gotta pick myself off the ground.
'Cause now it's clear to me
that I let her let me down.
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7. |
Siren Song
04:41
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Call me up drunk; you wanna relive
what I thought was lost.
Well I was doing so much better
before you came back to sing your siren song.
Now I feel the dread
of having you back in my head.
Oh how you bring those sleepless nights
and a headstream of laments…
With your fickle ways
and your weightless words.
You feel so entitled
to have the last word.
When your mouth's open
you pretend that mine is shut.
You believe your words lose their weight
when the alcohol leaves your blood.
So I have to believe that:
You are a temptress.
You are a seductress.
And I've been misled
too many times before
by your siren song.
So for my sanity's sake
I've plugged my ears with stone.
But when I've been drinking
the stone starts crack.
Yeah it's when I'm lonely
I get the urge to answer back.
I drown all logic
and hope for another side of you.
It's a bet on a carousel horse;
Yeah that's the sad truth.
You pick what works for you;
It's a political game, a fucking ruse.
Always find myself on the losing end
making the wrong moves again and again.
When the TV's on with a bottle in hand
singing lonesome songs
in the lonely dawn;
I won't place my bet to get no return at all.
I won't place it again...
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8. |
Ruminations
05:11
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Give me a goddamn drink
to clear my head,
cold logic from a friend
to calm this dread.
Pour me something strong,
give me hope that I
can shake shake off
these lonely nights.
'Cause I've been falling
in those holes
that I dug in the past;
shaky shots of Jack,
nervous cigarettes
from their tongues taking licks
and stabs at my brain
and the feeling that I felt
as I felt their hearts change
from care, to indifference,
to where I'm just a blip.
And I still have unanswered
questions 'cause I never
understood their intentions.
Now I'm seeing a ghost
that haunts my past
'cause the liquor's got a talent
for feeding regret.
And we spent several nights
in each other's arms.
It was a nice change of pace
from the lonely ones.
And she said I was different
from the other boys,
at the time I felt something
that I hadn't before.
But in the end her words
turned into platitudes.
Yeah in the end I saw her
real colors shine through.
But the end was a long, long wait.
'Cause from the time
she said goodbye
to the time I let her die
I choked through many
restless nights with my
growing self-doubts
wrapped around me tight.
Yeah that's right.
I lived with a siren
for a year and a half,
had a heart like a tomb,
wore a clever mask.
Put a spell on me
from day one.
I did all that I could
to make her mine.
We had drunken trysts
and winking eyes.
I wrote a few songs
'cause the feeling was right.
But she never wanted what I did.
I couldn't let her go,
I ignored the hints.
But then when I moved out
she said we could make it work
but she never tried to make it work.
So I gathered my thoughts
and wrote her a letter
and told myself I'd have to forget her.
Well they say you gotta learn to forget
'cause you can't grow
when you're bound by regrets.
But when the sun sinks down
and I lay down my head
old ghosts will wail
and shake shake shake my bed.
It ain't something that I recommend:
Killing time cursing old laments.
Should I be waiting around
for the "right one"?
Or lower my expectations?
I don't know.
And I don't even know
what the "right one" is.
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9. |
Night Tales
03:24
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A stretch of empty road at 12 in the A.M.
Toxins in my veins, blackness setting in.
Shadows racing by, no moon to be seen.
I'm fighting off red eyes, oh will I ever shake this off?
'Cause I've been wandering too long,
aimlessly without a thought
in my head that could lead me
somewhere I've never been.
For fear of failing's
got a chokehold on me
so I'm gasping when I try;
Come on devil, be my guide.
He's got a clever face,
entrancing deep-set eyes.
HIs words taste so good,
I'm falling in love with his mind.
He guides me to a bar
with smoke that chokes up blood.
Puts whiskey in my hand,
sly smile, it don't take much.
Head is spinning.
Eyes are blurry.
Briefly drowning all my worries.
It feels good in my veins.
Warming insides, dulling pain.
Stupid smile across my face.
Fingers crossed to keep the taste
from leaving me tonight.
Will I sustain this with the devil by my side?
I'm reborn but dead at sunrise.
'Cause revolutions only live at night.
But tonight I want to make it last.
I need to shake the dust from my past.
And I know that the devil
will only take me so far.
He's a great companion
when you're hunched over a bar.
So when the days all blend together
and you're sitting idle to get better
You gotta get up to shake the dust,
you gotta move to shake it off.
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10. |
That's What She Said
03:05
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Girl, we know I'm not the one.
Can't give you what you want.
Yeah whatever that is,
it's not for me to give.
And that's fine;
despite all the time
that I kept you in,
I held you in my mind.
And I don't really know
how your mind works
but I know you like
to keep your distance.
And I think you don't like
to think about the things
you want to say out loud.
Girl, I'm sorry about the headaches
I may have ever caused you
so I wrote this song to alleviate
what I put you through.
I've got a confession:
I swear to god that drama's my
one obsession.
And you were my source
and I couldn't get enough.
Yeah my mind works like a roller coaster;
it's got its twists and turns and screams.
And I don't think that I'll ever be level
but I can try, yeah I can try not to scream.
I'm sorry for the screams.
And truth be told, I don't even know
the true essence of your being.
I tried and tried to put on your eyes
but they never seemed to fit.
And I remember them red,
yeah I remember them dry
'cause every moment we had,
you were always high.
It's a way for you to suspend your heart;
but it's okay, 'cause we were always apart.
Yeah it's alright, 'cause we were always apart.
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11. |
Raise The Anchor
02:58
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Please tell my friends I've
gone away for awhile.
I tried to make it work in Austin
but for now I can't stay.
Tell 'em about my 6th street dreams,
being a part of that punk rock scene.
With the faithful one by my side,
maybe next year I'll get it right.
But for now I find myself
back in my teenage room.
And the walls are bare,
there's no posters anywhere;
It's hard to see this house
as home.
Oh when I was seventeen
sleeping in-between these walls
I never dreamed
I'd be singing this song at 24
but that's okay, yeah that's alright
because I'm still fighting this war.
I'm gonna sit by the moon
and the stars in the cold.
And I'll purge from my head
all those nights that I said
that I can't go on, I'm gonna
set 'em to the sun
with those ghosts
from my past
and let em burn, let em burn
until they're gone.
Please tell the one whose
name I can't bring myself to say.
I still think about her sometimes,
sometimes every single day.
Tell here the anger's left my blood,
all that's left is concern and love.
I'd rather see my 'ships float than
let small cracks sink them below.
'Cause if our last encounter
will be our last encounter
then peace won't come easy
to my mind.
I would rather make her smile
than wake up in her bed.
Oh tell her that's what I said.
Yeah tell her that's what I said.
'Cause when I'm taking
my last few breaths
I'd rather not see sunken ships
come to surface in my head.
So while I'm young, I'll patch the holes
that endanger our wild hearts.
I don't expect to sail together
but I hope that you and I and
everyone that I love
will sail, will sail, will sail on.
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12. |
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I'm gonna bury the time
spent at the stoplights
where the regrets flow
from the exhaust pipes
into my head. Those days
seeing red will soon be dead.
Just like these visions
of a ghost from my past
and all those tricks she played
with her mirrors and smoke;
yes I foresee she'll be dead.
Just like these sad, sad trees
and the leaves below.
But still the winter bird sings
in the cold, cold, cold.
The cold, cold, cold.
Breathe in the ice
and see the steam flow
from exhausted eyes;
I let the winter shake my bones
from a slumber that's gone on
for far too long.
Much like that apparition
dancing in my head
to an aching song;
It's getting quite clear
that she's wearing thin;
her pulse is weakening.
Her pulse is weakening.
'Cause I'm so tired
of giving in to the notion
that one day she'll give in.
Yes the song of the ghost
is dead; she's dead.
My stupid invention is dead.
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Revisionists Austin, Texas
I wear my influences on my sleeve and I hope it comes out in the music. I know what I like and aspire to write like the bands and songwriters that inspire me while at the same time putting my own personal stamp on the music. In the words of Frank Turner, "I know I don't break new ground, many have travelled this sound, but I try to make it sound like home..." ... more
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